How Embarrassing!!!

All Right, someone let the “Cat-out-of-the-bag” and complained about Farts!!!  Yep, it’s me, how embarrassing; I can’t even look at the camera.  I’m sorry but I can’t seem to “hold-my-turkey”.  If I got fed under better circumstances maybe this problem wouldn’t occur.  It’s hard to eat “regular” in a relaxing environment when your brother is “stealing” your food and your grumpy sister, “hisses” every time you look at her sideways!!  I’ve got a delicate system, and I’m still growing and developing, so EXCUSE ME! 

 

While some people may think me “less of a cat” because I fart, farting has been part of a natural process since the dawn of mankind. Hippocrates himself professed, “Passing gas is necessary to well-being.” The Roman Emperor Claudius equally decreed that “all Roman citizens shall be allowed to pass gas whenever necessary.” 

 

Did you know that there are five gases that are the primary components of my “kitty toots?  Yep, nitrogen, hydrogen, carbon dioxide, methane and oxygen.   They are all odorless and its actually the trace gases of skatole, indole, and sulfur compounds that make it STINK!!!

So Pardon my Pew!! But get over it!

The defense……

First of all…….If you haven’t eaten a Magic Sponge then you really don’t know what you are missing, they are “Magically delicious!!!”

Second…..I am not the kitten that farts when you pet him!!!

Third……..Yes, I hurled myself on the red cube; but how was I to know that the sounds coming from the cube were in fact my sister and not some alien force trying to take over the house!!

Yes, we ate a few paper penny rolls; but that’s just because no one gave us pennies to put in them.

And finally, regarding the Christmas centerpiece accusation!  Yes, Yes, I did it……but when you are as handsome and as good-looking as me you need to be the “Center” of attention!!

Miss Penny’s Manners……..

Now I have been raised to be a polite and congenial kitty.  I wait my turn, don’t jump on peoples laps, don’t get on the kitchen table, eat off peoples dinner plates or  fart when people are petting me.  I don’t speak unless I am spoken too, and only occasionally barge into the bathroom when someone else is in there doing their business.

However, my two delinquent little brothers are REALLY pushing the envelope these days.  Tonight an innocent bag of paper penny rolls was attacked and torn to shreds.  A Christmas center piece, was rearranged with the picks of pine and berries, replaced by a rather large (chubby) cat…..Yes, I mean in the middle of the kitchen table!!!!  Then an unsuspecting box of Magic Sponges was devoured.

 But purrrhaps the final PAW is brutal attack on me!!  I was resting comfortably in my new red “Kitty Cube”  when from the top of the back of the living room chair a ten pound brick of fur hurled itself on the cube!!!  Flattening the structure with me inside it!!!   Someone call 911 and get me a helmet and some rebar!!

Growing like Mad!!!

Maybe someone could spare a chunk of change to get the “Chunk of Duster” a new basket……..He seems to be out growing this one!

Black Friday?????

Well, first off I need to point out that NO turkey was cooked in our house yesterday!!  So not one of us cats were blessed with giblets!!! I think it is in our contract that we are to be supplied giblets on holidays that involve turkey. You can bet the NADF (National Association of Domestic Felines) is going to hear about it!! I hate to resort to legal action, but us cats must take a stand!

Today is known as Black Friday, I thought it was because we didn’t get giblets, but upon researching it a little farther I discovered that it’s when all the fat over-stuffed shoppers go out and buy things!!!  They line up early and push, shove, yell and scream trying to get the best prices on gifts for Christmas.  This seems like a lot of work to me, and I, PennyCat do most of my shopping online using my MasterCat card. 

I thought it might be a good idea if I reminded you that Black Friday is a great day to buy your PETS (preferably Cats) gifts online so here are a few of my favorite picks (hint, hint)

1. Select Comfort Sleep Number Bed – Yeah Baby, these things rock and you can get one for as little as $44.00 a month.  Check it out at www.SelectComfort.com

2. Platimum Drinkwell Water Fountain -  This is a great thing – offering your pet fresh filtered flowing water 24 hours a day.  However, if you have kittens you need to train them NOT to soak their feet in it (DUSTER!!)  www.Petco.com or www.Amazon.com

3. Indoor heated Cat Pad -  This is a great idea for the “old” cat with aching joints and stiff bones!!  $29.95 at http://cozywinters.com

4. Gourmet Cat Treats from Purrfectly Natural Gourmet Cat Treats – These things are yummy and good for you, check them out at www.healthpetnet.com $9.35 for a 4 oz. bag

5. Cat Massage – Yeah, you heard me – You can train your human!!! Order the DVD!!  www.smallanimalmassage.com

6. Cat DVD (kitty entertainment) – Give your poor lonely kitty three hours of purrrre entertainment.  $19.95 at www.catdvd.com

7. Mood Music – Sounds lame right……but hey listen, if you have, say two little kittens that are, like, terrorizing you.  A relaxing CD of cat music might be just the thing?   Mood music for Cats $16.99 at www.catfaeries.com

OK, people pull out those charge cards and get going!!!!

The Boys Thanksgiving List……

Ok, the HM and HF said that it was a special day to be “thankful” for all we have, so here is our list………

We are thankful for:

1. A kitty bed in every corner, even though we choose to sleep with Mom and Dad!

2. Foam curlers – These things are great fun, you can chew them and carry them around!!

3. Big styrofoam balls – These things don’t get stuck under the refrigerator or couch and they are light enough to bat around.

4. Plastic balls with feathers – yeah baby, you can carry them in your mouth and choke on the feathers!

5. Our new kitty fountain – This thing ROCKS – now if we could just get Duster to realize it’s not a FOOT BATH!!

6. End tables- they make it possible to run from chair, to couch, to lazyboy without touching the floor!!

7. Kitty Forts – The HM Rocks at making these with polar fleece blankets, boxes and chairs and they keep us busy for hours!!

8. Our New big sister, PennyCat.  Purrrhaps she is not the nicest…..but she paved the way for us to become part of this amazing family.  We love our grandparents, our Aunts, our friends at the hotel, and our kitty sitters!!!

We are thankful for all your love!!!

Signed: Duster a/k/a “Dust in the Wind” and Shedden a/k/a Sheddenski

Thanksgiving

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
and your pies take the prize,
and may your Thanksgiving dinner
stay off your thighs!
-Unknown

HAPPY THANKSGIVING FROM PENNYCAT!!

To all my friends in Blogland, I hope you have a wonderful day and that you take time to reflect on the many blessings you have received in the past year.

I am thankful for my wonderful human parents……life has not been easy taking care of me for the past seven months.  I am a handful, with the pills, and medications….the sick stomach and the constant messes.  They have been so patient and kind and I have been so grumpy and miserable.

Thank you to everyone who has kept me in their thoughts, I appreciate your well wishes.

 

Blogging is hard work……..

Some people think that this blogging stuff is simple.  Just write whatever is on your mind…….I mean how hard can it possibly be?

But when you are a young kitten with a walnut size kitty brain, it can be a very taxing, exhausting job……

I am supposed to be working on my “thanksgiving post” but I’m not really sure what to say……..

Purrrhaps I’ll just hit “escape’ and “paws” for a short “cat nap”!

Nooooobody knows the trouble we’ve seen……….

Nooooobody knooooows…….

Nobody knows the sorrow we’ve seen;

Nooooobody knooooows…….

It seems that our attempts to help the HF and HM assemble, place and hang the new rods and curtains were not appreciated!!  Instead; our helpfulness was rewarded with incarceration!!! 

Confinement to a small plastic cell……..if you will.

So where’s our one phone call!!!!  We need to speak to our attorney!!

Humor with PennyCat

What do you call a cat that has just eaten a whole duck?

 

 - A duck filled fatty puss!

 

AHHHHHH…kitty humor!!