Pussywillow McFlea and the Whisker Caper – Page 37

Purrcilla received the word from her secret service agent, that Purcy’s headache had not relented, and he was not able to return to the party.  Twenty minutes later she was about to excuse herself to check on him when she was asked to propose a toast for the leading soloist’s birthday.  From the toast, other requests were made of her and Purrcilla never went upstairs to check on Purcy’s condition.  Purcy slipped down  the back stairs from the bedroom and escaped into the darkness of the back garden, silently making his way to the garage where his personal assistant was waiting.  The limo rolled down the driveway heading toward Kittyville Bay unnoticed by anyone.

Oh Fiddlestix!!!

Well, Nini was right…..the stupid little brothers were returned.  I think the kittenappers probably realized that they weren’t worth anything!!  They came back in their cat carrier and were whisked away to their room, so I don’t know their condition although I did think that their voices were “a little higher”.

I’ve grown sick of the taste of pumpkin and let me tell you, this organic, holistic, vegetarian, natural, nutritional diet really sucks!!  I like salt, chemicals, flavor enhancers….come on!!!  Some of this stuff tastes like sawdust!!!  How about a nice salmon steak or something?

Last night the HM and HF came after me with the shaver and scissors.  The HM says the mats have to go and is threatening to take me to the groomers!!!!  I showed them, I hissed, growled, squirmed and bit the HF on the hand……DON’T MESS WITH MY FUR!!!!

Kittenapped!x#!!!!!

A “Terrible” thing has happened!!!  I am suspecting “foul” play……Yep, the stupid little brothers have been kittenapped!!!  Wow, what a terrible plight….I of course, am devastated!  As you can see, I can hardly sleep, or eat.

I suspected something this morning, when only I was given breakfast.  Then the unspecting little brothers were lured into a waiting kitty carrier and whisked away! Ha!….  Oh, I mean, OH NO!

Tonight when the HM and HF came home the kittens were still not here, and the HF dumped their litterbox and picked up their bowl.   Purrhaps they have finally listened to my growls of displeasure!

Man…..it’s quiet around here…….I think I maybe bored!!  Do I get the left behind kitten chow, huh? Do I?

PennyCat’s Ponderings……….

Did you know……….

When I ask for my food “In a Jiffy!”  I actually mean 1/100ths of a second (ok, maybe that’s a little unreasonable).

A Hummingbird weighs less than a Penny!  (and a whole lot less than a PennyCat)

Dogs and Cats, like humans, are either left or right handed (or pawed in my case)

A ten gallon hat actually only holds 3/4 of a gallon (false advertising!)

Most American car horns beep in the key of “F”.

The Whisker Caper – Page 36

Once upstairs in his bedroom, Purcy pulled his cell phone from his pocket and pressed “5” with his paw.  It was answered on the first ring.  “Seven minutes, have the car ready.” Purcy whispered in the phone, then ended the call.  He quickly removed his shoes, white dress shirt, tie and tails.  He dressed in plain black pants and a black polo.  Without hesitation he entered his private study in darkness and unlocked his desk drawer removing a hand gun and several rounds of ammunition.  He then made his way in the darkness to the wall safe and opened it. He removed a briefcase and a few other items.  When he was done he replaced everything carefully and went back to the bedroom and closed the study door quietly.  He then took his large fluffy bathrobe and slid it on over his clothes, pulling it tightly around his neck to hide the collar of his shirt.  He ruffled his fur on his head and stepped quietly to the bedroom door, opening it slightly, and leaned out to speak to the secret service man standing guard in the hallway.

“Duster”

This is one of my silly little new brothers.  His name is “Duster” a.k.a. Dust, The Dust, or Dust Man.  The HM named him this because he look”s like he has wisps of dust hanging out his ears. 

Duster wants to be my friend and is constantly trying to kiss me on my nose.  He will sneak up on me when I am trying to eat, or when I am taking a nap and try to kiss me.  I HISS at him, and have slapped him with my paw several times…..but he doesn’t seem to “get it”.

 

He is constantly purring, and climbs all over the HF and HM, pushing his little kittyface into theirs.  I think he is a little “slow”, maybe ADHD.  He eats like a horse and is much bigger than the other little brother.

 

 

He falls asleep at the drop of a hat, and can do it sitting up if he is not careful.  He has very big feet with a lot of toes, and talks constantly.  I think he is a whiner! 

 

 

If you are interested in purchasing a Duster of your own, please send me five cans of Fancy Feast and a salmon steak and he is yours!

Pussywillow McFlea and the Whisker Caper – Page 35

The final curtain call for the Opera had been an hour ago and the party at the Prime Minister’s mansion was well underway.  Most of the social elite had been invited and the crowd was large and joyous.  Purcy and Purrcilla had made the rounds and spoken to most of their guests, made a toast, and danced the first dance.  Amid the noise and celebration Purcy had slipped away to his upstairs bedroom, feigning a headache and promising to return shortly, after a few moments of peace and quiet. Purrcilla loved a good party, and was a wonderful hostess.  She gracefully continued on, entertaining her guests and enjoying the crowd  not noticing the length of time that Purcy was away.

Age vs. Beauty

The HM’s birthday was a success…….(I guess by human standards any way).  Her friends carted her off to some wine festival thing?  I guess they sit around and whine….I don’t know, I am a cat!  But anyway, she came home in a good mood, very happy, purrhaps even singing.

The HF suggested that we all chip in and buy her a power sander.  What the He– is a power sander?  Well, I gave him a few bucks and told him he could squeeze the rest out of the stupid little brothers.

She seemed pleased with her “sander”…..hmmm, I don’t know, humans are so weird.  The HF bought her a collar with green and shiny white stones, and matching ear bobbles.  I liked the bag, and the tissue paper, Yep, the bag was nice.  The little brothers tried to eat the tissue paper (they are dumb, I tell ya… you don’t eat tissue paper, you sleep on it.. Morons!)

No one would tell me how old she really is.  I heard that she came to this country on a ship named the Santa Maria, now whether that is true or not I am not sure.

I’m to sexy for my fur….to sexy for my fur………

Yeah, Yeah those kittens are cute, I’ll admit to that…..  but look at this misty photo shot  of me.  Am I not the most beautiful thing??  Dream Kitty?  Those kittens don’t have a thing on me.  My new diet has made my fur soft and silky and my eyes are bright and clear.  My purrsonality just  radiates…….  OK, but enough about me…..

The HM is having a birthday on Monday.  I have heard that she will be older than a lot of fossils.  I don’t know if that is true or not, but well, purrhaps she should eat more pumpkin?  Maybe I will recommend the PennyCat diet for her?

The Whisker Caper – Page 34

The trucks rolled closer and pulled to a stop in front of Pier 57.  The car lagged behind, pulling into the shadows of one of the warehouses.  The trucks were large refrigerator storage,  with  “Tunatown Shipping & Exports” written on the side. Several large cats jumped out of each truck, dressed totally in black, including skull caps.  It looked like each of them was armed as they spoke softly to each other and moved swiftly toward the back of one of the trucks.  The door was unlocked and raised and another group of cats shuffled out of the back.  These cats meowed in a different language.  Puss couldn’t hear too well because of the lapping of the water, but she thought it was Catonese.