Pussywillow McFlea in “The Whisker Caper”

Pussywillow McFlea paced impatiently back and forth, occasionally rubbing up against the lamp post.  Purrring softly to herself, trying to calm her nerves.  The sun had sunk below the horizon hours ago, and the stillness of the desolate street was adding to her trepidation.

Purrrrhaps this was not the best place to meet her snitch Litterpan Dan, on the spur of the moment it was all she could think of.  She had lived in this quiet neighborhood as a kitten, with her Dad, Maxwell McFlea and her Mom Mona……..

The 4 a.m. pick-up

I’m sorry, really I am…….but my tummy was upset and the hairball was just, well, ready.  I know 4 a.m. isn’t the greatest timing; but at least I wasn’t on the bed or the carpet.  Sorry Dad, really.  Thanks for cleaning up after me.

Us long haired kitties have fur issues, especially when we start to “blow fur” and the last few days have been incredibly warm.  The HF says it is time for the summer hair cut…..hmmmm, I hate those clippers; but it certainly makes me cooler.  It’s embarrassing though, getting your tummy trimmed.  Purrrhaps I could have a stylist, and get a popular do?  What do you think…….?

Hot, Hot, Hot Stuffffff!!

Wow, summer happened…….Today our temperatures hit the 90 degree mark…..Break out the kitty fan Man!!!  Why isn’t this plastic bag cooler,  Ice….Ice would be nice.  The HM gave me some in my water bowl,  I looked at it, and then looked at her “So what the H— am I suppose to do with this?”  My sister Polly used to love ice; but she also liked to lick the condensation off the windows? 

The HF took off golfing (or trying to find his balls in the trees); I waited for the HM to come home from work and then tried to convince her that a “chilled” can of Fancy Feast White Fish, would be best to cure my melancholy mood.

My new friend Brittany showed back up today to rake my yard.  She is a sweet friend with a gentle gentle touch.  I let her pet me the other day even though it was our first meeting.  The HM was so proud that I didn’t bite or hiss at her; but I could just tell that she had a sweet spirit.  Brittany took care of the first kitty of this house, long before I was around and that kitty was a nasty girl, so I figured if she got along with “Gammit” then she must be ok.

Well, I am heading for the basement to lay on the cool cement floor.  Let’s get some screens in the doors people and get a breeze going in here!

Gus – The Theatre Cat by T S Eliot

Gus is the Cat at the Theatre Door.
His name, as I ought to have told you before,
Is really Asparagus. That’s such a fuss
To pronounce, that we usually call him just Gus.
His coat’s very shabby, he’s thin as a rake,
And he suffers from palsy that makes his paw shake.
Yet he was, in his youth, quite the smartest of Cats–
But no longer a terror to mice and to rats.
For he isn’t the Cat that he was in his prime;
Though his name was quite famous, he says, in its time.
And whenever he joins his friends at their club
(Which takes place at the back of the neighbouring pub)
He loves to regale them, if someone else pays,
With anecdotes drawn from his palmiest days.
For he once was a Star of the highest degree–
He has acted with Irving, he’s acted with Tree.
And he likes to relate his success on the Halls,
Where the Gallery once gave him seven cat-calls.
But his grandest creation, as he loves to tell,
Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.

“I have played,” so he says, “every possible part,
And I used to know seventy speeches by heart.
I’d extemporize back-chat, I knew how to gag,
And I knew how to let the cat out of the bag.
I knew how to act with my back and my tail;
With an hour of rehearsal, I never could fail.
I’d a voice that would soften the hardest of hearts,
Whether I took the lead, or in character parts.
I have sat by the bedside of poor Little Nell;
When the Curfew was rung, then I swung on the bell.
In the Pantomime season I never fell flat,
And I once understudied Dick Whittington’s Cat.
But my grandest creation, as history will tell,
Was Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.”

Then, if someone will give him a toothful of gin,
He will tell how he once played a part in East Lynne.
At a Shakespeare performance he once walked on pat,
When some actor suggested the need for a cat.
He once played a Tiger–could do it again–
Which an Indian Colonel purused down a drain.
And he thinks that he still can, much better than most,
Produce blood-curdling noises to bring on the Ghost.
And he once crossed the stage on a telegraph wire,
To rescue a child when a house was on fire.
And he says: “Now then kittens, they do not get trained
As we did in the days when Victoria reigned.
They never get drilled in a regular troupe,
And they think they are smart, just to jump through a hoop.”
And he’ll say, as he scratches himself with his claws,
“Well, the Theatre’s certainly not what it was.
These modern productions are all very well,
But there’s nothing to equal, from what I hear tell,
That moment of mystery
When I made history
As Firefrorefiddle, the Fiend of the Fell.”

 

Catechism?

Catechism – (pronounced /ˈkætəkɪzəm/; Ancient Greek: κατηχισμός from kata = “down” + echein = “to sound”, literally “to sound down”

It is actually a summary of doctrine.  It’s traditionally used in a Christian format from New Testament times to the present.  But what most humans don’t realize is that Cat’s have a strict doctrine that we believe in and follow.  Yep, I swear, on my right paw!

Cat doctrine is very complex and our doctrine comes in the holy book or our CATALOG, as it is called. 

It’s a series of questions that are asked to each kitten by the Master Cat.  Many of the questions are of great importance and secrecy, so if I told you them I would of course have to kill you.  But I can let you in on a few of the basic “starter” questions:

Question:  What is the chief purpose of a Cat?

Answer: To glorify him or herself and enjoy life

Question: What word has God given us to direct mankind and give us attention?

Answer:

Meow!

Earth Day takes a backseat…………..

Now, don’t get me wrong.  I am happy to celebrate Earth Day.  I am an environmentally conscious kitty.  I use scoopable litter (over, and over and over).  I recycle my Fancy Feast cans,  and Lord knows I can get a lot of use out of ONE plastic bag!!  We use fluorescent bulbs in our house, mulch our leftovers (although with the HF there are not many), we hang our laundry on the line to dry, and grow our own herbs (including catnip).   The HF drives that new funny little quirky car…….what is it called?  But the real holiday today is ADMINISTRATIVE ASSISTANT’S DAY!!!  Now, unless I acknowledge this correctly, I could suffer great losses.  Yes,  my Administrative Assistant, also doubles as my HM, and you don’t want to get on the bad side of the HM!!  She is the one who, washes kitty beds, and bowls.  Goes through the terrible task of the total litter box reconditioning!  She’s the one who constantly struggles to buy kitty kibble I will eat (Ha! Good Luck Lady).  She vacuums up litter and fur, whiskers and claws.  Scrubs stains that have mysteriously appeared on carpets (hmm, wonder what that was?)  She’s the maker of tunafish, scrambled eggs and salmon.  But most importantly, she has the ability to type, take my kitty meowsings and publish them for all to read.   She gathers my wandering kitty emotions and puts them into form. 

To all the wonderful Administrative Assistants out there I say “Good Job, and Thanks!”  Life is a whole lot more organized and fun and good tasting because of you.

Furlanthropist – Romeo the Cat

Romeo the Cat on Twitter deserves to get a nice bag of kitty treats and a bunch of kuddos.  This fellow rescue kitty has raised $5000 for animal charities recently, using his blogging skills.  Way to go Romeo!!!  Us rescue animals need to stick together.  Approximately 8 to 12 million animals enter shelters and 5 to 9 million are euthanized (70% of the cats).  It is estimated that there are over 70 million stray cats in America.

In these tough economic times it is easy to forget your local shelters, however, they need your help more than ever.  Let’s join Romeo in sending them whatever you can.

Goodbear has a great idea on her blog.  Instead of giving your favorite pet another toy to add to the basket of fifty, why not donate to your local shelter to celebrate a pets birthday, or memory.  Each year my HM and HF donate to the shelter I came from as well as the shelter that my sister, Polly was from, and my cousin Codybear.

Have a great day……roll in the sun, eat some great snacks, enjoy your home, and remember a stray!!!

Love means you should always say your “Sorry” and do it well!

THE ART OF APOLOGY BY PENNYCAT

Although I am a Cat, and I seldom do anything wrong;  it has come to my attention that the human population is really terrible at apologizing.  This is a skill that will get you far in life, so I thought I might enlighten a few of you with some pointers:

First, you really need  to admit you did something wrong.  This for a lot of humans is extremely hard.  They think they are better than others and admitting they  are wrong, signifies weakness to them.  Hogwash!  That’s not it at all, it is an admission of fault, not failure!  Others will admire your honesty for admitting you made a mistake.

Second, recognize that your actions may have hurt someone else, or caused them difficulty.  It’s not always about You people!  By acknowledging others pain or difficulty, you are showing you are genuine and that is the core of a good apology.

Third, reach out….offer to help repair the situation.   This not only shows that you are taking responsibility for the error on your part,  but it also shows that you are strong enough to admit your mistake; and considerate enough to help correct it.

Life is after all a collage of triumphs and errors, we learn by our mistakes and admitting to them shows our growth!

(Gosh, that was deep, even for me!)

Faux Paws?

Faux Paws?  A social blunder, a false step………And here I thought it meant you had fake paws!!!  Kind of like Lee Press-On Nails.  I had pondered where one would purchase Faux Paws…..a drug store, or PetsMart?  Would they come in different colors and sizes?  How would I apply them without thumbs?  Would I be a XL or a wide?

At Last…….Warm Weather!!!

Today, we had more sunshine!!!  Hooray!!! Kitties love sunshine…………

Did you know a giraffe’s tongue is two feet long?  Well, the reason I bring this up is my  fur is flying, the winter coat is coming off, and the bathing is unending……….The HM brushed me this morning and combed me again this afternoon, and still I am “falling apart”!  If my tongue was two feet long I could probably get myself taken care of!!   I also know that giraffes cannot cough, so I guess there is no hacking up a hairball if you are a giraffe!